Background
The inspiration for this curry came from Linda Hainsby’s hilarious illustrated book Stinky Town, in which a flatulent bear and a shopkeeper foil a royal robbery by means of the bear’s ‘special powers’. The bear's diet consists of copious quantities of beans, Brussels sprouts, nuts and chillies. The consequences of this diet are a central theme in the story.
Linda debuted her book during a show and tell session at the Putney School of Art and Design Children's Book Illustration class. When we'd all recovered our composure, wiped away the tears and could breath normally, that part of my brain that looks in the fridge and sees a menu said "That would make a really nice curry".
I tested it on my partner, Marie, who declared it to be "very nice". No further encouragement needed, I made another batch to take to the next class. That disappeared with even more complementary noises.
That's what I love about the Putney Illustration class. The inspiration I get from a room full of creative people throwing ideas around. I never know what fragment of someone else's idea will trigger a cascade of connections in my head, and what will come out the other end.
Could have rephrased that one Awa Rich!
This is just a starting point, you don’t have to follow it slavishly. If there’s an ingredient you don’t have, leave it out or use something else. Feel free to vary the amounts too. Experiment, play around with it, make it your own.
An illuminated version will be available soon. Don't hold your breath.
Enough with the puns already Awa Rich!
Download a PDF version of this recipe
Ingredients
Curry paste
- Chillies
- 2 or 3 cloves Garlic
- A thumb sized piece of fresh root Ginger
- 2 tablespoons Coriander seeds
- 3 tablespoons Cumin seeds
- 1 tablespoon whole Black pepper
- 1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
- 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
- 1 tablespoon ground turmeric
- 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
Everything else
- 1 kg. Onions
- 250g. dried Black Eyed Beans
- 500g. Brussels Sprouts
- 100g. Blanched almonds
- 100 ml. Oil
- Water
- Salt
Fresh herbs
- A bunch of coriander leaves
- 2 or 3 sprigs of mint leaves
Preparation
If you are using dried beans, soak them overnight then boil them in 3 to 4 times their volume of water until they are soft. How long the beans take to cook depends on what type you’re using. Black eyed beans cook fairly quickly, about half an hour. Chick peas take much longer, an hour maybe more. Test one by squishing it with a fork, it should crush easily, but you don’t want mush.
I usually cook a big pan of beans then freeze what I don’t use.
Top, tail and peel, then chop the onions. You don’t have to be to precise as they will break up when you cook them. A kilo of onions may seem like a lot but they cook down to a fraction of their original volume.
Cut the bottoms off the sprouts, remove any manky outer leaves and cut them in half from top to bottom.
Roughly chop the almonds or put them in a plastic bag and beat the living daylights out of them with a rolling pin or some other blunt instrument.
Making the curry paste
You can use ready ground spices but you don’t need to roast them. If you’re feeling really lazy you could use a ready made curry paste.
Roast the whole dry spices in a small frying pan over a medium to high heat to bring out the flavours. Keep them moving around so they don’t burn. They’re done when you hear them snap crackle and pop. Take a moment to enjoy the aroma. Tip them into a dish to cool then grind them.
The fastest, easiest way to make the paste is to put all the ingredients in a liquidiser with some oil and whizz until you have a smooth paste. Add more oil if it gets too lumpy.
I like to use a pestle and mortar as it’s the best kind of aromatherapy.
Don’t worry if you make too much, put what you don’t use in a jar for another time.
Cooking
Put your biggest heaviest pan on a low to medium heat, pour in about 100 ml. of oil and gently fry the onions for 45 minutes to an hour. Keep them moving around and adjust the heat if they look like they’re browning. Your nose will tell you if they are.
You’ll be surprised how little there is left once they are cooked. The concentrated onions give the background flavour and texture to the curry.
When the onions are cooked, add about 2/3 of the spice paste and cook for 2 to 3 minutes. Keep stirring.
You need a lot of oil to cook the onions and to make the paste but if there’s too much oil in the pan, pour some out. You could keep it in a jar for the next time you cook curry.
Now add the cooked beans and almonds and give everything a good stir. Pour in 250 ml. of water and put the lid on the pot. Simmer it for about half an hour to let the flavours mingle. Check occasionally to make sure it’s not drying out, add more water if it is.
Add the sprouts and cook for 10 minutes or so, they should be cooked through but still have some bite. Fish one out and taste it now and again to check if it needs more cooking. Overcooked sprouts are disgusting, mushy and bitter.
Add some salt, give it a stir and taste it. If it needs more, repeat. If you think it needs more spice then add some. Adding a bit of spice paste towards the end of cooking gives it a fresh zing.
Finally, chop the mint and coriander leaves and stir them in.
Serve it with chapatis, nan, paratha or rice. you can include this as part of a larger meal or as a meal in itself.
Notes
Did you notice that no bears or any other animals were harmed or exploited in the making of this curry?
Onions Red onions are more traditional in India but use whatever you can get. Small onions have more flavour and pungency, large onions are sweeter.
Chillies Just like onions, dogs and people, the smaller ones are more fierce. Remember, you can put them in but you can’t take them out. Avoid Dutch hothouse chillies as they are impostors and couldn’t punch their way out of a wet paper bag.
Beans Black eyed beans are used a lot in indian cooking but you can use any kind you like. Chick peas have good flavour and texture but they take a lot of cooking. use whatever you have.
If you can’t be bothered with the soaking and boiling palaver, use canned. Rinse them thoroughly before you add them to the pot. That goes double for Heinz.
Sprouts If sprouts aren’t in season then use any of their cousins. Broccoli, cauliflower or shredded cabbage will work fine. Fresh is best but frozen is good too, and it cuts down on the preparation. Just heave them straight into the pot.
Almonds Ready blanched and sliced almonds are available but it’s cheaper to make your own. Asian shops sell large packs of almonds for a fraction of the price you’d pay in a supermarket (same goes for spices).
Boil a pan of water, chuck in a cup of almonds and bring back to the boil. Cook for 1 minute only then drain them. Rinse with cold water and leave for about 10 minutes.
Now for the fun part. Remove the skins by holding a nut between your thumb and the first knuckle of your forefinger and squeeze. The almond will pop out easily, often too easily. Squeeze them into the palm of your other hand to stop them shooting across the room.
